BEGO Funny Status Messages

   The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.

   Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 form

   I just put on a jacket I last wore at a wedding in 2002. And found Nokia 3210 in the pocket. It still has 2 bars of battery left.

   I hate when Netflix asks if I’m still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?

   At the end of Goonies, Chunk says to Sloth, “you’re gonna live with me now.” Why isn’t that a movie yet?

   Women- God’s version of Rubik cube.

   It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.

   I really hope 2015 is a better year.

   The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.

   It’s funny that old people need handicap parking spots but they always manage to pick up a penny off the ground.

   Relationships are like batteries, they have a positive & a negative side. And you end up whacking your remote instead of changing them.

   Costco: The most expensive place in the world to save money.

   X says Falling in love is like jumping off a very tall building. Your brain tells you - it's not damn a good idea, while your heart tells you - you can fly.

   Dear Girls : No Need To Do Anything For Halloween … Just Remove The Makeup And Go To The Party

   Don’t be stupid, if their ex is still calling its because they’re still getting an answer.

   The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single last one of them.

   Most stress is caused by three things: family, money, and family with no money.

   When my phone dies and I don’t have a charger, I might as well be Amish.

   Girls cant find their wallets, shoes or car keys but they sure as hell can remember something you said 8 months ago

   I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?