love Funny Status Messages

   Marriage tip: Your wife values honesty. So if your wife asks you if her best friend is prettier than her, just say "yes". Your wife will value and appreciate your opinion, and she will love you more for it.

   I Love it when my pets sigh, like whats ails you my little freeloader 😄

   If you're alone on Valentine's Day it's okay as you can love yourself enough do something nice for yourself like go out and buy your own candy and flowers, and trust me you're totally worth it!! Especially tomorrow at 80% off.

   I love to shop, but I’ll never buy your bull.

   told my aunt I love cooking with my Instapot, and judging by these edible recipes she just sent me she may have misunderstood.

   Do I love my co workers ? No But are they really good at their job and make my life easier ? Also no

   Time for me to sign up for the hallmark channel for the next two months. there are a lot of white women in fur-lined parkas that I need to watch fall in love

   I just saw a commercial that said, "Spend less time cleaning your toilet and have more time for the things you love to do." ... Yeah, like because I spend so much time cleaning my toilet that by the time I'm finished the whole day is over.

   I love Trump so much, I'm willing to make up anything in order to make Joe Biden look bad. Come back Trump, I can't live without you!!!

   I’d love to have a s*x change. Preferably from none to absolutely sh*tloads

   Every time my husband wakes me up to tell me I’m snoring we end up making love. I’m beginning to question whether or not I snore.

   “I just called to say I love you.” -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work

   If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.

   Dear Narcissist, I wish I could find a way to love you as much as you love you.

   Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. You will thank me for this later you’re welcome

   A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.

   Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.

   All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

   Love conquers all things, except poverty and a toothache.

   When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.