Exercise Funny Status Messages

   My exercise program consists of following women at the store who are wearing tight yoga pants.

   Getting exercise by marching is Trump's new healthcare plan . What an idiot

   Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..

   Sean Spicer told me that my poor eating habits and lack of exercise only play a limited role in my weight gain.

   Trump is already working wonders, all these people marching = Exercise and aiding weight loss. = Positive

   Some folks exercise their right to vote. I vote my right to not exercise.

   I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.

   What to exercise today? Spots hottie in shorts. Gets on random machine nearby. Carefully follows her around gym.

   Would do anything for happiness but not like diet and exercise or staying off social media and seeking help from a professional.

   The Land of the Free but don't exercise your freedoms because that's not patriotic.

   How do you get Americans to exercise their right to vote when you can't even get them to exercise?

   Claiming a product promotes "Weight Loss" when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming that it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.

   The "Map My Run" Facebook posts are a great way to track how far you went to brag about exercise or show your exercise running from the police.

   Goals Every College Student Should Accomplish This Summer: 1) Ween myself off coffee. 2) Exercise other than walking to classes. 3) Get onto a sleep cycle similar to that of a human. 4) PARTY!!!!

   Just added 'Wandering Around the Parking Lot Looking for My Car' as another Track Exercise on my Fitbit.

   Exercise makes you look better naked, so does tequila. Perhaps it's time to try both....

   I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams.

   The only exercise I have done this month is running out of money.

   My exercise regimen is basically just my heart rate elevating at an alarming level when I realize I'm out of beer.

   I don't mind when people exercise their right to free speech, but I'd prefer they'd exercise their right to remain silent.