Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Steve Martin had his first kid today at the age of 67... and that is how it's done. Happy Valent Times day to him." 
I shot my girlfriend with a cupid's arrow thinking that she would fall more in love with me, but now she's just laying there on the ground ignoring me.
Oscar Pistorius will try and plead temporary insanity! I personally do not think he has a leg to stand on!!
I'm spending Valentine's Day with my x.......... box 360.
Nike has to stop it with this "Just do it". First it was Tiger Woods. Then Lance Armstrong. And now Oscar Pistorius.
feeling sad because you don't have a Valentine. Cheer up, no one loves you the rest of the year either
It looks like cupid saw his shadow again this year!
Happy Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.) Everyone!
I’ve decided to spend this Valentines Day with the one I love…. I just really hope she’s working her corner today.
for all those who are taken, almost taken, taken for granted, waiting to be taken, and those who aren't taken seriously!! Happy Valentinesday!!
Happy Thursday to all my married friends.
Sometimes I drink water, just to surprise my liver.
roses are red, chocolate is brown, some ppl will be stuck at home looking for singles in their town
Good thing it's Valentines day, cause I woke up with a massive heart on!
Don't make love by the garden gate....love is blind, but the neighbors ain't.
Love fades....bacon is forever!
He who shoots girlfriend on valentines day deserves an OSCAR award
All men are Millionaires … at least by sperm count....The funny truth is ... Even these millions are spent on women!!
Oscar Pistorius will plead not guilty, but I don't think he has a leg to stand on.
Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorious. 