Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   So is Taylor Swift's perfume made from her actual tears?

   Every woman is beautiful, but some are only beautiful in the dark.

   To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.

   just heard the ad for the McDonalds New Fish Mcbites, I can only imagine them tasting like used Ben Wah balls.

   the Pope just changed his relationship status to It's Complicated...

   So, the Pope is resigning, eh? Perhaps I shouldn't have poked him so many times....but, in fairness - HE started that poke war to begin with.

   Big Shout-out !!!,,, to Whitney Houston as she celebrates one year of sobriety today

   If pigs could fly, I'd eat the s hit out of those wings!!

   Pope Benedict XVI to resign because he "no longer has the strength to fill the hole of a boy's orifice"....Sorry... I meant fulfill the roles of his office

   Makers Mark... Now with more Water !!! Same price !!! Going from 45 percent by volume to 42 percent by volume.

   there is a Reason why Everybody says Everything happens for a Reason?"

   Whats a pope?

   Looks like the Pope is headed for the old popes home..

   Pope Benedict is so old, there are only two jobs available to him. 1) Bag boy at the supermarket. 2) Run for President on the Republican ticket.

   Seriously!! Who sucked The Pope.

   Ever notice the Pope's hat looks just like an upside down McDonald's Biggie Fries box?

   I expect Obama to name himself the new Pope soon.....

   The Pope is really setting a high bar for giving something up for Lent.

   PRO TIP: If you cut your pizza up into small enough pieces,,, you can use it as a topping for your other pizza.

   Did you hear?? The Pope is giving up Jesus for Lent!!