Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I’ve decided to spend this Valentines Day with the one I love…. I just really hope she’s working her corner today.

   for all those who are taken, almost taken, taken for granted, waiting to be taken, and those who aren't taken seriously!! Happy Valentinesday!!

   Happy Thursday to all my married friends.

   Sometimes I drink water, just to surprise my liver.

   roses are red, chocolate is brown, some ppl will be stuck at home looking for singles in their town

   Good thing it's Valentines day, cause I woke up with a massive heart on!

   Don't make love by the garden gate....love is blind, but the neighbors ain't.

   Love fades....bacon is forever!

   He who shoots girlfriend on valentines day deserves an OSCAR award

   All men are Millionaires … at least by sperm count....The funny truth is ... Even these millions are spent on women!!

   Oscar Pistorius will plead not guilty, but I don't think he has a leg to stand on.

   Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorious.

   All those women out there that thought 'I wish my fella was hung like a horse'. The chances are you have had one in your mouth anyway.

   Valentines claims another victim as the blade runner shots gf - twice, just because he couldnt beat last years gift...personally I think he has no leg to stand on!!...

   I booked a nice table for two, then she tells me she doesn't like snooker, wtf?

   Hey Febreze, the broken carnival ship would be a real good test for your commercial

   Valentines Day - nobody shares a dam chocolate in the entired year and now you have to shove a hole box in a day - hypocrecy made chocolate

   Last night I tried talking to the moon pretending it was you. And just like you, it maintained a distance and didn't reply. :(

   Roses are red, your body is fine, I know we just met, but your place or mine?

   The real St. Valentine was beaten, stoned and then beheaded...now that would make one hell of a Hallmark card...