Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Only took 2 days to elect a Pope. I think its safe to assume none of the Cardinals were from Florida.

   a new Pope is all well and good, but what the Cardinals really need is an offensive line.

   Now, if we could only get some white smoke to come out of the White House's chimney.

   Time for UK to return Falkland Islands to Argentine or face The Pope!!

   Now would be the best time for the Pope to make a Harlem Shake Video!

   So they elected an Argentinean Pope... FREE CHURASCCO FOR EVERYONE!!

   If you don't have anything nice to say, feel free to come sit with me and we can make fun of people together.

   Has the new Pope made a Harlem Shake video yet?

   ..didn't get the job... heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again

   The new pope mobile is gonna have a set of spinners now

   Shoutout to God for not giving wings to spiders.

   In honor of new Pope, boys underwear half off at Walmart....

   Here comes the New Pope! Popeye The Sailor!!!

   We have a new Pope! I'm just waiting for Kanye West to jump out on the balcony and interrupt!

   I have never prayed so hard in my life that the new Pope that walks out onto that balcony is Dennis Rodman.

   Black smoke; no Pope has been chosen, White smoke; a Pope has been chosen, blue smoke; the pope mobile is running rich.

   Nobody knew huh, I was temporary Pope until about an hour ago. . .

   White smoke emerges from Vatican chimney, indicating either the new pope has been chosen or the chicken fajitas are ready.

   ladies, if you want a man who will stick by you through thick and thin, marry a procrastinator

   I wonder during the election for Pope, did the other cardinals point to the losers and say excitedly "you are NOT the father"