Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I swear some of yall blame Biden for everything, yet if trump was president none of you would blame trump

   You mean the high prices of gas and groceries which is happening all over the world because of a pandemic? Grow up and accept that Trump lost fair and square.

   I’m learning how to do weight training by lifting dogs. I picked up a few pointers yesterday

   It's only been 1 year of Biden! Let that sink in for a bit while you decide if you want gas OR groceries.

   I don't know about you, but I think it's patriotic to be poor and misguided.

   I don't know how I can keep on living, knowing I was wrong about bad consequences of legalizing weed. I hate being told "I told you so".

   Todays Mexican world of the day is DALLAS.....because this is dallas game the Cowboys will play this season.

   Not sure that "What's gotten into you?" is the best opening line when you run into a friend that you hadn't seen in a while and is pregnant.

   I broke off my relationship with a woman I met a few days ago. I got a good look at both her ex and her kids. I became nauseated at the thought of went in her and what's popped out.

   I am still boycotting all Marvel movies until they release the much needed and long overdue 'White Panther'.

   She blinded me with science! Well, Chemistry... Mace. It was mace.

   People up north whine way more about cold winters than we Floridians do about the hot summers. It may have something to do with feminine swimwear.

   On Facebook, never judge a woman by his profile picture.

   I saw a Kenny Loggins "Christmas Time Is Here" CD in the discount bin. I looked at the track listing on the back and was disappointed not to see "Highway To The Manger Zone".

   What's the difference between Paul Walker and Betty White? Paul Walker got to 100 before he died.

   If I die at the gym while lifting weights, add more weights then call 911.

   Really feel bad for my neighbor.... He thought a vasectomy would keep his wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.

   Question, is the word buttcheeks all one word or should I spread them apart?

   6:00] This edible is never going to hit. [6:20] *stirring my Root beer with a fork* [6:50] I'm a fork and I'm drowning !!

   If I were Amish, I’d have to convert to Pmish cause I’m not a morning person.