Funny Status Messages

   It's amazing how one transgender can trigger so much hate and ignorance. Like honestly, how are people like that affecting your lives?

   Amy Schneider looks like the love child of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.

   Person... Woman... Man... Camera... TV....I'm a genius!

   Taxes are basically a yearly subscription to the country you live. Childhood is the Free Trial.

   It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs because they take things literally

   OK. Who is the genius that decided to call it "Toilet Paper" and not "Butt Napkins"?

   Men pick their favorite sports team when they are like 11 and let it make them upset for the rest of their life.

   RIP Bob Saget: A comic whose stand-up routine was basically a 9 year old who discovered you can say curse words when your parents aren't around.

   Autobots Roll Out, we are under attract by the evil Deltacron, leader of the Decepticons!

   Amy Schneider is a biological male. The swimmer from Penn State is a biological male. They should not be given records that were previously relegated to the ranks of biological females.

   To All Those Who Received a Book from Me as a Christmas Present....They are Due Back at the Library Today

   I just read that they're not making rulers any longer.

   Changed all my passwords to "Kenny." Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.

   Wouldn't it be funny to secretly place a sex toy in someone else's yard sale then stand back and watch the reactions.

   looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue

   Can I borrow...Nope You got...Nope Can you let me...Nope Just practicing for 2022👌🤣

   How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

   My wife's doctor called and I had to take a message. He said her Pabst Beer came back negative. What the hell is he talking about?

   The processor in my smart phone is 120,000,000 times faster than the computer aboard Apollo 11. They went to the moon, I play Clash of Clans and watch videos of funny cats flushing toilets.

   Everyone over here doing the 10 year challenge while metaverse is doing the facial recognition challenge.