BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I remember 2012 like it was yesterday…

   Well happy new year to you all mine friends wish you all the best for 2013..

   Mother: Clean your room, family is coming over. Me: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.

   Relationships are kinda like hamburgers on TV. They look good, but in real life, they're not that great.

   we only have 1 day left to make kony 2012 happen

   Guys be quiet I'm calling my mom!..... person in background: "PASS THE WEED!"

   Turn on radio*: "shine bright like a-" *Turns off radio

   The absolute best way to get revenge is to sit back and watch while people destroy their own lives just by being themselves.

   If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you'd never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else's phone. Ever.

   Facebook is the best way to prove that you made the right decision when you broke up with that person you dated in high school.

   I smile politely when someone bumps into me while texting on their phone because I respect their right to ignore the world.

   I once bought shoes in China that said “made around the corner”

   You say “I'm sorry,” I hear “I surrender.”

   Fact: zoning out is your brain's way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”

   Adele: "I set fire to the rain!" Spongebob: "That's nothing... I make campfires underwater."

   A huge part of success involves getting rid of people that drain your energy and surround yourself with positivity.

   When you love someone you take interest in their interests or at least pretend to.

   Did you ever notice how a woman's “I'll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I'll be home in 5min” are one and the same?

   Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.

   If spiders start flying I'm leaving this planet.