love Funny Status Messages

   Heavy D: Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it? Scientist: Containment protocol, we can't have everybody catching feelings.

   Refusing to accept refugees is not cold and heartless. I lock my doors every night; not because I hate the people on the outside but because I love the people on the inside.

   I love my women like I love my whisky: twenty years old and mixed up with coke.

   I love my women like I love my Keurig coffee, disposable after a single use.

   I love my women like I love my coffee beans. Thrown into a burlap sack and transported illegally across Central America.

   Why I love Asia: I wanted a hooker. Called service. Said I didn't know what I wanted. They sent a van with 10 girls and let me choose.

   It's not in the way you look or the things that you say that you'll do.....Hold the line, love isn't always on time,

   I have googled "does my dog really love me" more than twice

   If you love someone set them free. Then lock the door so they cant get back in.

   When poverty comes in at the door, love flies out of the window.

   i love how men mock women for being overemotional and then lose their sh1t over a team losing an over-glorified game of fetch

   Happy anniversary to the love of my life, and her husband Steve.

   Gotta love Lamar Odom.... This is the first time in history the hookers and coke actually saved a guy's marriage.... Rock on Lamar

   I love having marital relations. My wife knows what I like and I know what she won't do!

   We had the kind of love that lasted till our phones died.

   I'd really love to see you tonight....no, really.....leave your blinds open!

   From now on, if we text longer than a week, we better fall in love. If not, you paying my phone bill for wasting my unlimited texts.

   I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters

   It used to be called "House Depot" until they filled it with love.

   7 years ago I met the love of my life and have been blessed every day since then... I love you Nutella.