love Funny Status Messages

   Somtimes I get the feeling that maybe the love of my life got stuck up in a Condom

   While drunk me would love to grab your butt...sober me would probably agree

   I love your warm body. I love the way you smell, taste. The way you wake me up inside. Coffee

   Ground Control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Check ignition and may God's love be with you.

   I don't like Hot Pockets at all. But I imagine that people who like scalding the roof of their mouths while getting diarrhea all in the same day probably love them.

   If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after.

   I love lesbians... Only when they let me

   Relationship status: I don't need love. I need money right now.

   I'm just looking for a little love and financial domination. Is that too much to ask?

   Heavy D: Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it? Scientist: Containment protocol, we can't have everybody catching feelings.

   Refusing to accept refugees is not cold and heartless. I lock my doors every night; not because I hate the people on the outside but because I love the people on the inside.

   I love my women like I love my whisky: twenty years old and mixed up with coke.

   I love my women like I love my Keurig coffee, disposable after a single use.

   I love my women like I love my coffee beans. Thrown into a burlap sack and transported illegally across Central America.

   Why I love Asia: I wanted a hooker. Called service. Said I didn't know what I wanted. They sent a van with 10 girls and let me choose.

   It's not in the way you look or the things that you say that you'll do.....Hold the line, love isn't always on time,

   I have googled "does my dog really love me" more than twice

   If you love someone set them free. Then lock the door so they cant get back in.

   When poverty comes in at the door, love flies out of the window.

   i love how men mock women for being overemotional and then lose their sh1t over a team losing an over-glorified game of fetch