Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   This whole rescue could have been avoided if he just stayed in his vehicle. He should have called it in and waited for ems to arrive.

   I don't do kings and I don't support inbreeding.

   George Zimmerman helped 4 people out of an overturned SUV. I'm guessing it wasn't a black SUV.

   Nancy Grace TONIGHT: George Zimmerman's secret plot to kill the Royal Baby.

   Well if he is the Duke of Wellington, I guess they could name him Beef.

   About this whole Royal Baby thing, I googled "who cares?" and my name wasn't in the search results. 

   This is Britain's chance to outshine the USA by not naming the royal baby after a fruit, plant, or direction.

   Kate is officially a milf

   Royal baby born weighing 8 pounds, worth billions of them!

   A terrorist attack killing thousands, a car wreck killing two. Nice try britboy

   So Captain Crunch and Kate had a little crunchberry.

   Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.

   William & Kate, i'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Panda Watch was the best baby watch of all time!! ‪#‎Anchorman‬ , ‪#‎imronburgundy‬?

   This is a historic day today - one we will all remember. A woman on a bed with the whole of Britain watching and waiting. RIP internet porn....

   I'm surprised people don't use photoshop to also clean the house in the background of all these fake photos they upload

   This just in...Goerge Zimmerman resues cat from tree!!

   The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows Sincerely & does exactly as he says is a PHOTOGRAPHER !!!

   I’m better at remembering people who have bad breath than important historical facts.

   You realize like, billions of women have done the same damn thing right?

   BREAKING: George Zimmerman says he's "keeping an eye on" the Royal Baby, will let us know if anything seems suspicious