santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   If you're atheist so don't celebrate Christmas

   Today is the official day for guys to start their Xmas shopping

   I'm an adult and I still believe in Santa clause, I figure why not? There's still adults who believe in Obama.

   Teach your child what's going on in the world by telling them Santa was killed in a drone strike in a no fly zone; or he's being held up in the vetting process.

   Why is it that a lot of the people who think everyone is too easily offended these days act like you just insulted their mother by saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"?

   ♪ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,

   From the Paris Climate Change Conference: Santa is required to put solar panels in the stockings of naughty kids.

   A Christmas tree isn't going to be the only thing lit this holiday season

   What you never hear if you live in Santa Clarita.."I'll be back in a few minutes"

   I would not even buy my worst enemy a selfie stick for christmas present. I am not that cold.

   Every Christmas I give my co-workers a card with a picture of my middle finger inside.

   My son just saw Willie Nelson on TV and called him Santa... Hmmm I guess we need to watch more Christmas movies.

   Don't look now, but your Secret Santa is watching you!

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a little sister to play with." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Sure, send me your mom and wait about 9 months."

   If one of Santa's helpers takes a picture of himself with his cell phone, is it called an "elfie"?

   Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.

   2016 New Year's resolution: Tell your wife/girlfriend (or both) that every time they give you a BJ, you are going to put a dollar in an envelope. At the end of the year, you will use that money to buy her 2016 Christmas gift. More money = Nicer gift.

   Sorry can't... Watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and taking copious notes.

   *looks at calendar*.. *looks at stomach*. *looks at calendar*.. Guess I'm telling people I'm pregnant again this Christmas.

   you know your not much of a Christmas shopper anymore, when your still using some of the same wrapping paper you had 3 years ago . 🎁 🎁🎁 🎁