love Funny Status Messages

   A Perfect Question To Ask At Any Job Interview: Do you monitor email and internet usage as I love to look at hardcore porn sites during office hours?

   I love how coffee fixes everything. Tired? Drink some coffee. Headache? Drink coffee. Cold? Drink coffee. Someone makes your angry? Bust them in the head with the cup!!!

   Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them...

   I love eating ice soup the day before every pay day.

   College kids please choose a career in something you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because that dream job isn't hiring....

   People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.

   I love when people say "they're expecting a baby" as though it might be something else, like a penguin.

   Love it!!! Autocorrect in 2016 still has not yet figured out how much I swear and how rarely I talk about ducks.

   Your hate for Trump only give him more attention while your love for Bernie is forgotten

   Mariah Sharapova living proof that Russians love to cheat.

   I love Ellen. I'm gonna marry her idk how but I'm gonna make it happen.

   Trump: I love making people who already hate me hate me more.

   "The righteous are those who feed the poor, the orphan and the captive for the love of God, saying: 'We feed you for the sake of God Alone; we seek from you neither reward nor thanks.'"

   If Nutella & marshmallow fluff made sweet sweet love & had a baby,,, I would eat that baby.. The End.

   Dear liver, the weekend is almost over, hang in there little one. Love you.

   Ya'll been dating for three days and you're already saying "I love you" = But that's none of my business.

   Most people on their 16th Birthday get a car, I got an inflatable dinosaur costume and not gonna lie, I'm in love.

   Chicken is better than that girl who said she will die for you. Chicken actually died for you. Chicken is true love.

   Shoutout to all the girls who are curled up in a ball in their bed waiting for that goodnight text. Go to sleep, cuz he doesn't love you....

   The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works 24 hours a day and 365 days a year from birth until you fall in love.