love Funny Status Messages

   Always love April 21st as it's Random Drug Testing Day at work.

   Love the share your memories. Hey, I deleted that stupid f#cking comment of yours from four years ago. Do you have a guilty conscience.. lol. . .

   Although I love food, I don't consider myself to be a "Foodie." I'm more along the lines of a glutton.

   Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.

   I don't remember myself, but my parents love to tell others about the time they found me dancing naked on the kitchen table to the final Jeopardy music at age 2 or 3.

   A Perfect Question To Ask At Any Job Interview: Do you monitor email and internet usage as I love to look at hardcore porn sites during office hours?

   I love how coffee fixes everything. Tired? Drink some coffee. Headache? Drink coffee. Cold? Drink coffee. Someone makes your angry? Bust them in the head with the cup!!!

   Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them...

   I love eating ice soup the day before every pay day.

   College kids please choose a career in something you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because that dream job isn't hiring....

   People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.

   I love when people say "they're expecting a baby" as though it might be something else, like a penguin.

   Love it!!! Autocorrect in 2016 still has not yet figured out how much I swear and how rarely I talk about ducks.

   Your hate for Trump only give him more attention while your love for Bernie is forgotten

   Mariah Sharapova living proof that Russians love to cheat.

   I love Ellen. I'm gonna marry her idk how but I'm gonna make it happen.

   Trump: I love making people who already hate me hate me more.

   "The righteous are those who feed the poor, the orphan and the captive for the love of God, saying: 'We feed you for the sake of God Alone; we seek from you neither reward nor thanks.'"

   If Nutella & marshmallow fluff made sweet sweet love & had a baby,,, I would eat that baby.. The End.

   Dear liver, the weekend is almost over, hang in there little one. Love you.