trump Funny Status Messages

   Trump has taken Take Your Daughter to Work Day to the next level.

   Ivanka Trump's West Wing Duties: 1) Smile. 2) Stick chest out. 3) Hold Daddy's hand and make sure he remains calm. 4) Administer meds.

   DOES TRUMP ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING besides watch TV, play golf and tweet?

   NBC should get Hillary Clinton to replace Arnold Schwarzenegger as the host of "Celebrity Apprentice" just to mess with Trump.

   How long before Donald Trump claims the Obama White House assassinated JFK?

   US added 235,000 jobs in February. To be fair, most of those were fact checkers reporting on Trump.

   If Donald Trump cuts funding for Sesame Street how will he ever learn to read?

   Trump spends so much time golfing that if he doesn't qualify for the PGA Tour by the end of his presidency he's a failure.

   The only thing that could make Trump's approval rating worse would be if he joined Tinder.

   Why do we get the feeling that Melania Trump would rather stay at a crappy Holiday Inn than at the White House with Donald?

   Trump tells GOP lawmakers they need to respect the wishes of the people that got them elected. I think he means the Kremlin.

   Hey you Dummy-crats. Trump has been in office for 60 days..might as well relax you got a long time before the next election. Now go cry somewhere else.

   I can't be the only one who is concernd about the White House burning down if all of Donald Trump's pants catch fire. Not only does he have a lot of pants, but they are yuuuuge pants.

   The Monk's "Nice Legs, Shame About your Face" is trump's favorite song about selecting a Senior Counselor for his administration ... and third wives.

   The hardest working position in the White House is Donald Trump's belt.

   Meatloaf's "Two out of Three Ain't Bad" is Trump's favorite song about what is the appropriate percentage of your wives who should be immigrants.

   Did Trump's physician say he would be the fittest President in history? If anything, he might be the fattest President in history.

   North Korea tests new rocket engine. Donald Trump phones Kim Jong-un and leaves stern voicemail stating, "Me no likey."

   Trump is now claiming, that his Perrier water is being tapped.

   It makes sense Tim Allen would support Trump considering he's a big fan of tools.