Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   She is not crazy, she is female.

   If she is married or has a boyfriend make sure she swallows the evidence.

   To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.

   I think I've managed to weird myself single.

   Ladies; If he's seen your butthole, how you look in the morning with no makeup and hair all over the place is moot.

   Get hoarders addicted to crack, they will sell all their s hit..Problem solved.

   My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD Bin at Walmart.

   I killed a man once, because killing him twice is a physical impossibility.

   My ex said she left me because of my short attention span. Unbeknownst to her I actually…damn that’s a cool ass word right? Unbeknownst.

   Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don't even do anything about it.

   I'll do almost anything to lose weight. But exercising and eating properly is where I draw the line.

   Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn't sing it out loud in public.

   I want my name to come up when you go to therapy.

   People are so rude to each other nowadays, that when one is nice and polite, it's considered a marriage proposal.

   I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.

   Do they have dressing rooms for you to try on a smart car before you buy it?

   Relationships are like @nal s ex, it looks so much easier in the movies.

   Planning to take my relationship to the next level this Valentine's day but I couldn't find a store that sells wedding rings for cats!

   Well, now I don't know the name of any professional cyclists.

   I wonder when my phone will start listing them as ignored calls instead of missed calls.