love Funny Status Messages

   If you love something set it free, if it comes back set it free again because nobody else loved it either

   Everyone knows it's "Private eyes", single clap, "They're watching you", double clap. Now,church choir, for the love of God, get your crap together.

   I'd love to have a deep meaningful discussion with my daughter but I'm not that good at emojis.

   Gotta love a woman who can hand you your own ass.....

   Love yourself. But, not in public. That's illegal.

   I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.

   I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

   Pro tip: Fall in love with someone who will treat you how Kanye treats Kanye.

   I love coffee, but if someone with a British accent offers me crumpets and tea, l would totally cheat.

   Sometimes I step outside to look up at the stars and think to myself....damn I love peeing outside!!!

   Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like I love you so much I'm gonna get the Government involved so you can't leave....

   Me In 2016 Shaking An Magic 8 Ball: "Will I find love this year?" Magic 8 Ball says, "Hahaha get a cat." D'oh!!!

   Funny all those people that love Prince and don't mind his drug abuse probably complained about Lance Armstrong

   Nothing says' I love my dog' quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own.

   I feel sorry for people that haven't found their true love. My ex is on her 5th.

   Always love April 21st as it's Random Drug Testing Day at work.

   Love the share your memories. Hey, I deleted that stupid f#cking comment of yours from four years ago. Do you have a guilty conscience.. lol. . .

   Although I love food, I don't consider myself to be a "Foodie." I'm more along the lines of a glutton.

   Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.

   I don't remember myself, but my parents love to tell others about the time they found me dancing naked on the kitchen table to the final Jeopardy music at age 2 or 3.