bego Funny Status Messages

   The first rule of relationships: You don’t find out why someone was available until it’s too late.

   Go to the train station and make eye contact with someone as the train pulls away and then chase after it it while yelling “I LOVE YOU!”

   I see you drivin ’round town with a girl I love, and I’m like, it’s nice that she has alternative transportation.

   Enjoy the little things in life, because one day, you’ll look back and realize that they were actually big things.

   what if I just started licking the dentists fingers while they were in my mouth

   .irls Stop editing ya'll pics. what if you go missing? How you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook but you look like a shrek in person.

   BEST WAY TO DIE: Clint Eastwood shooting you while Morgan Freeman narrates it.

   It’s ridiculous how so much of your future depends on how successful you are as a teenager.

   "I'm sick of beautiful people who don't have to work for their beauty, when I'm over here sweatin my balls off for all this beauty."

   If your name is John, your parents were just lazy when they named you.

   Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back but when you're with them they always have their phone in their hand texting.

   If you watch the Harlem Shake backwards, it's a video about a guy who parties longer than everyone else.

   If you get cheated on over and over & you decide to stay with that person, You're a fuc&in idiot and deserve everything thats coming to you.

   *Showering together* Girl: "Baby I want you to do bad things to me ;)" Guy: *Puts shampoo in her eyes*

   Thongs are like barbed wire fences. They protect the property, but don’t block the view.

   Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.

   IKE if you love that feeling when you finally take your shoes off at the end of the day.

   When advertising your business on the side of your car it’s a good idea not to drive like a complete as&hole

   I'm already sorry for what I'm going to do this weekend.

   Too many faithful girls are single, and too many h&es are taken.