trump Funny Status Messages

   Trump bills Germany $300 BILLION for Nato (even though that's not how it works). Dude will try anything to recoup his Trump Steak losses.

   The leader of the Freedom Caucus confirmed to CNN today that they wouldn't vote yes because Trump didn't say "please".

   Donald Trump is so terrible at negotiating that he can't even find a way to convince his wife to live with him.

   Sources say Michael Flynn may have turned on Trump and become witness for FBI, or as Donald calls them, Female Body Inspectors.

   Official White House response: Donald Trump's in meetings. Journalists with cameras and tourists with iPhones: Donald Trump is definitely golfing.

   Getting exercise by marching is Trump's new healthcare plan . What an idiot

   Note to self - playing the Trump card isn't as effective when the Trump is a joker.

   Trump's golf instructor gave him a great tip this morning. He would have much better hip rotation if he took his head out of his butt.

   Trump hooked hiis drive out of bounds on the sixth hole today. Blames Democrats.

   Several Russian prostitutes seen headed to Trump Golf Course in Virginia today for "meetings".

   Trump is the oldest elected President the US ever had, which means we will witness his transition from paying people to pee on him, to him peeing himself.

   Trump's healthcare defence is similar to his "grab them by the P" defence. Bill said much worse than I did. Their plan is much worse than my plan. I believe that is known as the loser's limp reaction.

   Trump is already claiming that voter fraud is to blame for losing health care vote.

   What burns Donald Trump more, losing the Trumpcare bill or his herpes that he referred to as his "personal Vietnam"?

   Democrat bill would force Trump to disclose White House and Mar-a-Lago visitors, including Vladimir Putin and Kanye West.

   Donald and Melania Trump reportedly sleep in separate bedrooms. That's a good idea, Melania's crying keeps Donald awake at night.

   White House, Republican. Senate: 52% Republican. House: 54% Republican. Yet, Trump blames the Democrats for his failure? Does anyone not see the stupidity in this???

   Report from the White House: Trump is so depressed right now, he doesn't want to be peed on.

   Trump didn't want to drain the swamp, he wanted to rule the swamp. He failed at both.

   My four year old understands leverage and negotiation better than Trump.