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Page: 21 of 38
I used to work at the post office, I told people I was a mail escorts...
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08-31-2012 13:12 by
SEAN
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Wear jeans every day and nobody cares. Wear a shirt twice in a row and you're suddenly homeless in the eyes of everyone.
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08-31-2012 13:09 by
SEAN
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Some of you people would be better off on a site called TwoFacedBook instead.
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08-31-2012 13:05 by
SEAN
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One thing you always pay full price for is other peoples mistakes...
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08-28-2012 08:13 by
SEAN
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Hey Pringles, it's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed.
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08-27-2012 11:44 by
SEAN
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We're probably missing out on a lot of good candy by stereotyping creepy people who have white vans with tinted windows who give free candy.
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08-27-2012 11:42 by
SEAN
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I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant could also be called I Didn't Realize I Was Retarded.
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08-27-2012 11:41 by
SEAN
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Started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can't hear me through binoculars.
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08-27-2012 11:40 by
SEAN
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Box wine? I prefer the term Cardboardeaux.
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08-27-2012 11:40 by
SEAN
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"My phone's about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call ....
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08-21-2012 15:46 by
SEAN
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To the additional pot that was on the stove after I thought I was done washing the dishes, I hate your stinkin' guts.
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08-21-2012 15:44 by
SEAN
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Congratulations to Iggy Pop who has managed to find a way to look great for his age and terrible for his age at the same time.
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08-21-2012 15:43 by
SEAN
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It's cool when a band smashes their equipment after their last song. It'd be even cooler if Creed did it before their first song.
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08-21-2012 15:43 by
SEAN
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When my kids look back on the photos of my life they'll think, "Wow, he wore that shirt a lot."
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08-14-2012 15:47 by
SEAN
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FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
90
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08-14-2012 15:46 by
SEAN
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1
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Why doesn't Mitt's wife want to be the first lady? Because she would have to move into a smaller house
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08-10-2012 16:26 by
SEAN
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Trying to take something out of the oven without burning myself is like playing adult Operation.
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08-10-2012 16:23 by
SEAN
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What is the Beach Boys song Kokomo about?
8
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08-10-2012 16:22 by
SEAN
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I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed.
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08-10-2012 16:21 by
SEAN
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The Divorce Judge told me I had to give my ex-wfie a vehicle, so I just Fed-Ex'd her an old broom...
11
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08-09-2012 08:12 by
SEAN
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