Flinnie Funny Status Messages

   its time to call clowns what they really are- smiling murderers

   I just got an email from Facebook that I have 7 friends with birthdays this month. I didn't even know that I had 7 friends, or Facebook.

   Never bring a knife to a gunfight. But if you bring one to a tickle fight, you will TOTALLY win.

   I keep thinking about Shane from "The Walking Dead" telling Rick that "it all started with a few weird news reports."

   Doctor says I have Gunter glieben glauchen globen syndrom. I break out in hives whenever I hear Def Leppard's "Rock of Ages".

   "You should know that when I say it ain't nothin' but a G thang, sometimes it *is* more than just a G thang!" - passive-aggressive Dr. Dre

   I had a dream that all the neglected MySpace Profiles came back and wanted vengeance.

   my GF and I have so much in common, she thinks I'm the best looking, kindest, smartest, best lover, most considerate, humblest, man in the world...and I agree

   In other birthday news, Cory Hart turns 50. He now wears his bifocals at night.

   If your parents are cannibals, the "got your nose" game is frighteningly serious.

   Judging by how The Hulk speaks, he reacted badly to grammar rays as well.

   Just stared in horror at the contents of my son's diaper & asked him why he's doing this to our family.

   Cats. Because why should conditional love only come from family?

   realizing being gay is such a happier way to live

   We can only heal as a nation, once we acknowledge that Morris Day and the Time were robbed in the battle of the bands in Purple Rain.

   Yes, you are entitled to your opinion. Why you insist on being wrong is beyond me, but go nuts with it.

   Why would LL Kool J's Mom want me to be knocked out? What did I do?

   Just saw a homeless guy wearing a Nickelback shirt. Further proof that listening to Nickelback leads directly to homelessness.

   Those friends of yours who only call you when they're driving? They're bored, stuck in a car and totally using you

   If you take the number of minutes it took someone to text you back, multiply it by five & subtract your age, you've got WAY too much free time.