nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   Super Bowl parties are great! (If you aren't into football.) I'm into football, so no thanks.

   Betty white to preform at next year at 2022 Superbowl ...

   I used my husband’s deodorant, so if you need me to explain how to throw a football I can do that for you.

   He left his fantasy football open and I rearranged his line up by how hot the players are. That’s how the fight started

   This lifelong football fan now has an extra 3 hours to do projects and other tasks like shopping on Sundays from now on.

   Bite me. Football starts next week and I'm watching it. 🐬

   The Washington Redskins are temporarily changing their name to the "Washington Football Team", or in other words "WTF".

   If you are throwing a football, a baseball or kicking a soccer ball in a park, you need to be more than six feet apart. If you aren't, you're in big trouble because you really suck at your sport.

   My TV got hacked at Superbowl halftime. I saw a Puerto Rican Strip Club on Spanish language channel, old crotch grabbin' hussies.

   The Superbowl halftime show will go down in history as "The Vag Chronicles."

   Why do football players wait until the last 5 minutes of the 4th quarter to play with any real intensity?

   Some good tax news for you Michigan trolls. The IRS announced today that you can write off your Michigan Wolverine football season tickets as a total loss.

   We bought an 82 inch TV. Football: awesome Porn: terrifying

   I'm glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 9:00 AM on a Saturday.

   Rather than crush the spider I started telling it about my fantasy football team and it peacefully left on its own.

   Beto is like the guy that gets cut from the High School football team and says now he's going to join the NFL

   I'll be taking a knee at my Superbowl party in protest of white supremacy and police brutality.

   Ask a meteorologist who will win the Superbowl......then go with the other team ;-)

   It should be a Thanksgiving tradition that one of the football games be the Patriots vs the Redskins.

   I'm holding cheerleader try outs for my "Fantasy football team". Full outfits are encourage but not necessary.