wolf Funny Status Messages

   Monica Lewinsky turned 46. Seems like yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees..

   Dear Mother Nature, I know you've been on the rag lately, but who lit the fuse on your tampon?!?!

   If the government would charge a 3% stupidity tax, they could pay off the national debt in no time..

   I've been calling this random number asking for John all day with diffrent voices.. When I get home I'm going to call him back and say "this is John, do I have any messages"..

   Live,Laugh, Love if that doesn't work- Raise, Aim and Fire..

   Gas stations need to have a happy hour..

   The world needs a hero, I'll go change my clothes..

   I walk light so I don't piss the ground off..

   Hey Obama, I could really use that "change" right now! I'm at the gas pump and could really use some extra quarters!!

   Be sure to drink your Charliesheen!

   If I were you, I'd get a helmet and some crayon's and call it a day..

   Then the psychiatrist's gave me the good news: I was going to have a disorder named after me..

   Whoa, this weather is bringing out everything.. Theirs some old people out driving right now and don't even know it..

   Where's Kanye West when you need him..

   Just think, the one for you is walking the earth right now! Probably in a Wall-Mart somewhere!

   Next time someone tells you that you look familiar,tell them you wore a condom!

    Egyptian Pres. Mubarak finaly steps down. I think he was in denial--which coincidentally is where his body will be found if he doesn't move far far away..

   An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.

   Q: What do you call a Packers fan holding a bottle of champagne after the Super Bowl? A: Waiter.

   Let's drink tequila till you don't remember what I suggest next..