paulb808 Funny Status Messages

   Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR,

   without freedom of speech we would never know who the a$$holes are

   Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the cl!toris is

   If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook

   I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that

   I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

   Somewhere in this world my second wife is in 9th grade.

   You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.

   I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway

   behind every strong girl is an a$$hole who made her that way

   Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.

   ̿̿̿ ̿' ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ this is a stick-up... give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!

   What where Abe Lincoln's first words after he woke up from a three day bender? " I FREED WHO?"

   when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vajajay" I knew I was at home.

   that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

   I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...

   Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

   i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. God I miss college. a moment ago clear

   Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. The Internet in a nutshell.

   My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.