mullerman Funny Status Messages

   wants everyone to remember that when it seems like God has turned His back on you and He seems so far away....remember this...He's not the One that moved.

   loves long walks...especially when taken by people who annoy me.

   my cross-eyed teacher has a hard time keeping his pupils straight.

   How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

   thinks that everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.

   “We don't stop laughing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop laughing”

   wants you to remember the "Golden Rule"....whoever has the gold, makes the rules.

   just found out that Lindsey Vonn had her gold medal taken away by Obama. The reason is that he is going down hill faster than she did.

   thinks the most used sexual position amoung married couples is doggy style, the husband sits and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.

   annoyed that he can't play UNO. The Mexican's keep stealing my green cards.

   wants you to think of the word "Politics". Poly means "many" and "ticks" are blood sucking creatures.

   says, I love work. I can sit and watch it all day.

   A gas station is a place where you sometimes fill the car, but more often drain the kids

   says, forgive your enemies, but remember their names.

   poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

   thinks a foolish husband gives his wife an old piano. A wise husband gives her an upright organ!

   thinks Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

   thinks that friends are the most important part of your life. Treasure the tears, treasure the laughter, but most importantly, treasure the memories

   says if you want to feel skinny, hang out with a group of fat people.

   singing...I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go....