Yaj Funny Status Messages

   I wish "Earth Day" was a realityh show in which we can vote people off of the planet.

   "Knock Knock! .... "Who's there" . . . .Not the Malaysian airplane pilot

   Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.

   The best way to live a miserable life is to pay attention to what other people are saying about you.

   I'm not a reIigious person, I dont believe in a god, but that wont stop me from wishing you all a MERRY CHRlSTMAS!!!

   Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?

   maybe the Giants should sign Charlie Sheen so he can teach him how to start "winning"

   As long as I work with somebody named Mike, Wednesdays will never be boring.

   Dear teeth whiteners. .. you have a set of teeth on the bottom too.. you're like the guys at the gym that don't do legs..

   Joan Rivers doesnt look a day over $225,000

   It's wierd paying taxes as a stoner knowing that a portion will be used trying to incarcerate yourself.

   If stalking was considered a romantic gesture I'd probably be married by now.

   I just found a whisker in my general tso chicken

   Kim n kanye should name their kid 'KiIlevry" .. .. KiIlevry Kardashian has a nice ring too it

   What does a fat musIim say? ALLAH SNACKBAR!

   So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."

   Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.

   At the Karma Cafe, there are no menus. You get served what you deserve.

   I'm surprised nobody ever complained that the grape dude in the Fruit of the Loom commercials is black

   Everybody's got their own aIcohol they won't ever touch again because of an awful teenage experience