YODA Funny Status Messages

   Alcohol does NOT make you fat, it makes you LEAN...against tables, chairs and walls...

   I can't believe they let people own guns. Public toilets are all the proof we need that humans have horrible aim

   If watching the big-screen TV with a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy...

   Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.

   If you're not part of the solution, you may be part of the team I work for...

   It's not cellulite, it's my body's way of saying "I'm sexy" ...in braille.

   Thanksgiving may be the only time some people in California see real breasts

   To drink or not to drink!? What a stupid question!

   To drink or not to drink!? What a stupid question!

   t amazes me that Playboy have explored the idea of making pop-up books yet.

   Im thinking of changing my name to Reason.... Because no one ever listens to me.

   The party's not over 'till you smile for the mugshot. ;-p

   Apparently, California has the highest rate of Adultery and Depression. It's a sad State of affairs....

   The besth thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?

   Sometimes I laugh so hard, tears run down my leg.

   Imagine the sheer horror in kid's face when you tell the "When I was born there was no internet".

   More often than not sadly... The three phases of love: 1.XOXO 2. XXX 3.EX

   It's hard to be intimidating when your boots keep making fart sounds when you walk...

   Some play hard to get, I play hard to want

   A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.