Rickster Funny Status Messages

   I know I’m paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?

   Quarantine tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any

   I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer

   I want to lose weight but I don’t want to get caught up in one of those eat right and exercise scams

   Finland has closed its borders. Now no one can cross the Finnish line

   Have I ever been in a stable relationship? I’m not into livestock, you sick twist. What’s wrong with you? Why did your mind even go there?

   You think it’s hard to train dogs? We can’t even get people to sit and stay

   I built my entire itch-cream business from scratch.

   This quarantine got me thinking… What did our parents do to pass time before the Internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them knew either.

   Question of the day: If you could stop this virus and save everyone or have Bill Gates money, what color would your Lamborghini be?

   I always confuse reptiles and amphibians. OK to be honest, neither one knows what I’m talking about.

   Please create a password. Your password must contain a capital letter, and number, a special character, and emoji, eight elements of the periodic table and a short story with a protagonist, character development and a plot twist at the end

   I think we have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart?

   Dove chocolates taste way better than their soap

   They should release the movie Groundhog Day under the name Groundhog Day 2 and call it a sequel

   I have electile dysfunction. I’m not aroused by any of the candidates

   If you're over 18 but under 21 and are arrested for drinking alcohol, you can be charged as an adult for being under aged.

   My grief counselor just died. I really don’t care. I guess we made progress.

   I think I’ve finally perfected the art of silent criticism, though you wouldn’t know it

   I thought I liked movies but it turns out I just like eating candy in dark rooms where no one can talk to me