MATT Funny Status Messages

   Boys make excuses, men make changes...

   If Justing Bieber was a real man, he wouldn't have his own line of womens perfume...

   I know my jeans are too tight when my boxers turn into a banana hammock

   Father's Day is the most confusing day in the Ghetto !!!

   If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.

   in heat. Blame spring and short skirts... time to spray and pray.

   Japan`s earthquake shifted the earths axis by 10cm. It`s not much but we are well on our way to our toilets flushing counter-clockwise!

   just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of an accident!!!

   went 2 the corner store and saw the ugliest pregnant lady in the world and I just thought, 'Good for you.

   Came home from work last nite just plain tired so I sat down to relax - five minutes later there was a knock on the door - it was my rear just catching up

   knows the last digit of PI.

   starting to get nervous about Y3K

   versatile..........put him in any position and he will always perform

   will write you a love song unlike that Sara Bareilles b**ch