Jmc Funny Status Messages

   The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...

   A lot of kids were upset when they found out Santa was not real, I was more creeped out the fact my parents made me take a picture sitting on a strangers lap and kept it for years.

   I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure and that I'd want it if there was...

   Congrats on your secret admirer! It must be nice having someone who's ashamed to admit they like you!

   When I die, I'd like someone to keep updating my Facebook for me just to freak people out. Things like, "Hey, who knew they had a Chipotle up here?"

   When I'm done using a unisex bathroom I leave the seat halfway up....never know who is coming in after me