Eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages

   Hit "Like" if you're tired of everyone on Facebook telling you to hit "Like."

   New condom slogan...."Wrap it in latex or give her your paychex."

   I do feel that it is appropriate for us all to get on our knees and thank the good Lord that spiders do not fly.

   Find your little island of "OK" in a vast sea of "Holy crap!"

   I want to be famous and make a cure that saves tens of people!

   I spend 500% of my life exaggerating!

   I don't get this hole poking thing.

   "Step one: Cut a hole in the box!"

   John Wayne Toilet Tissue: It's Rough - It's Tough And It Don't Take Crap Off Anyone

   enjoying the sounds of a 2 year old having a meltdown...so soothing

   With soaring gas prices and my abnormally sized feet, I am thinking that I will be Yabba-dabba-dooing it to work this week!

   I was tickling a toad on his right flipper! Frog giggles amuse me!

   Just treated my nostrils to a Brazilian!!

   Breaking news the 5th Dentist caved and now 5 out 5 recommend trident gum!!!!!!!!

   The older and fatter I get the more my underwear makes me feel like a dolphin trapped in a tuna net.

   "Latin , Latin smooth as satin que hora es it's Latin time!!"

   Stevie Wonder's nephew was charged with trying to extort his famous uncle....I guess Stevie never saw that coming!

   Cello Green has T-Rex arms.

   Don't you hate it when being polite and holding a door open turns into a "clowns in a car trick"?

   This whole "Cup half empty, Cup half full" argument should state what is IN the cup before people start judging!!