Dopey420 Funny Status Messages

   Go ahead, tell us everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.

   Every day I am forced to add another name to the list of people who piss me off.

   I think Martin Lawrence should just come out of the closet and admit he's a crossdresser already.

   Maybe if tmobile spent less time on attack commercials, and more time creating phones, and providing a good signal their company would suck a little less. iPhone is still the best!

   Everybody in Chicago is moaning about the snow. Um it is winter and it is Chicago, what dou you expect? Sunshine and lollipops?

   Just got a new puppy! I named him Go away, poor little guy is going to be so confused everytime I call him.

   Two winners for mega millions. One in Indiana and one in Michigan. I hope they both lose their tickets in the snow!

   Bill Clinton was recently seen smoking a pipe. When asked why he wasn't smoking a cigar he said, ''Cigars are for pu**ies." Clinton rules!

   There is really a Miss Facebook beauty pageant. I wonder if the bathroom pictures are scored lower?

   What's 69+69? Dinner for four.

   What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

   What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger.

   What does OJ have that every man wants? A Heisman trophy and a dead ex-wife!

   If a mime shoots you, must he use a silencer?

   Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two fifty, go figure.

   This girl walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean." Hard of hearing the man says "come again?" She replies, "no mustard."

   What's the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.

   Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in girl."

   A cop pulls over a guy. He says "Sir your eyes are alittle glazed, have you been drinking?" The man replies "Gee officer your eyes look alittle glazed too, have you been eating doughnuts?"

   Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?