BRian Funny Status Messages

   After playing Call Of Duty online, I'm convinced that I would not last 10 seconds in a real war.

   I'm almost sure she's cheating on me with her boyfriend.

   Oh you hate your job? Theres a support group for that, its called EVERYBODY'S USED THIS POST ONE TOO MANY TIMES!

   I'm sad my kids have left to Summer Camp for 2 weeks. I no longer have an excuse to watch iCarly while they're gone...

   How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams!

   I hate when I find parking space and there's already a motorcycle parked in it.

   Supervisors never get sick but their employees are sick throughout half the year...

   I always feel like I make a connection with a waitress whenever they take my order

   86. Sometimes I like to order pizza from Domino's and when the delivery boy rings the bell I open the door in a Pizza Hut outfit.

   Whenever someone deletes me as a friend I automatically think, crap they found out how many times I viewed their photos.

   Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday.

   Maybe nows a good time to change my status from aethist to very religious and it's complicated.

   You really don't know a person until you realize they don't know how to spelle

   At night, I secretly delete people on your page while you are asleep that might be potential flirters. You call it insecurity, but I call it job security…you're welcome!

   45. People who call with blocked numbers deserve to not get answered!

   Dear Bible, you forgot to include us in your story. Sincerely, the dinosaurs

   Once saw a man in the back who said 'Everyone Attack', but it didn't turn into a ballroom blitz.

   come to realize that housework is a lot like shoveling the driveway while it's still snowing, come back 10 minutes later and it looks like you never did it....LOL

   In the 80's we had Reagan in office. We also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now we have Obama in office and we have no Hope and no Cash...

   wishing everyone a happy holiday. If your not sure what holiday it is just google March 14th.