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Know what's sexy? Not waking me up.
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06-06-2014 12:20
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On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" thenmake sure to leave a note to be opened after youdie that says "pray harder next time."
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06-06-2014 12:20
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I hate the fact I can't slam the door on my cubicle.
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06-06-2014 12:12 by
Baddie
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I'm time zone intolerant...
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06-06-2014 12:06
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Irony: The Vatican owns enough treasures that could end world poverty. Twice.
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06-06-2014 11:53
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Too bad NY was wasted on New Yorkers
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06-06-2014 10:11 by
JCW
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So, the AC went out in game 1 of the NBA Finals. Spurs won. I guess The Heat couldn't take the heat.
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06-06-2014 10:00 by
Michael F
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Canadian bacon is just bacon with good healthcare and a strong sense of national pride.
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06-06-2014 09:32
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What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire?
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06-06-2014 09:29
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Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But keep your bacon far away from me or I will eat it. This is your last warning.
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06-06-2014 09:21
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I woke up and I couldn't walk at 1st so I thought I had really bad cramps but then I realized I was just Lebroning!
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06-06-2014 08:57
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I'm wondering what we can trade Obama for ???
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06-06-2014 08:49
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My safe word is "more".
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06-06-2014 08:41
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LeBron James needs to sign with a WNBA team where its okay to puss out of a game because of cramps.
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06-06-2014 08:21 by
Michael
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do a dramatic removal
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06-06-2014 05:26 by
Huck
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Why can't Stevie wonder see his friends?... Cause he's married!!
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06-06-2014 04:45 by
Denis
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I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster!
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06-05-2014 23:24
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Multi billion dollar nba can't fix the damm AC in time for the finals.....serious!
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06-05-2014 22:54
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There are two things I cannot stand: Racism and Justin Bieber.
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06-05-2014 19:50
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According to the study that I never have done, alcohol consumption by stay at home Mom's goes up 500% when school gets let out for the summer.
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06-05-2014 19:32
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