Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Kisstopher': View All Messages
Page: 19 of 35

   messageicon You know you're getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
←Rate | 05-01-2012 09:05 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"Give it to me!" she said, "I'm so wet, give it to me right now!" And I replied, “Screw you, it's my umbrella!”
←Rate | 04-29-2012 12:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they call it "the birds and the bees"? I can't imagine those two getting freaky with each other."
←Rate | 04-28-2012 11:55 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't see dead people, I just see people that I wish were dead.
←Rate | 04-27-2012 12:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one man has done more to bring peace to mankind than the inventor of coffee.
←Rate | 04-24-2012 13:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't lose weight; you get rid of it, unless you intend on finding it again.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 14:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
←Rate | 04-21-2012 08:20 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even crappy coffee is better than no coffee at all.
←Rate | 04-19-2012 13:25 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why I even bother having a iPhone anymore. It spends so much time on charge, you might as well call it a landline.
←Rate | 04-18-2012 15:08 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Bros before hoes" sounds like something a bro without a hoe would say.
←Rate | 04-15-2012 16:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear woman who likes to bring her friends along on our first date. You are simply giving me more options just in case I am not feeling you.
←Rate | 04-15-2012 06:29 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You drink a lot. You use crude language. You have low morals. You're exactly what I'm looking for in a friend!
←Rate | 04-14-2012 10:50 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever done it kitty style? It's like doggy style, but with purring, scratching and biting.
←Rate | 04-10-2012 13:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die I want written on my tombstone "Finally Offline".
←Rate | 04-08-2012 17:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't feel bad about online shopping at work. It's the only place where I can spend money WHILE I make it.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 12:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3-pack condoms are ideal for married couples: Birthday, Christmas, and Valentine's Day.
←Rate | 04-06-2012 15:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I opened up a can of coke and it said, "Sorry, you didn't win". I didn't even know I was playing, yet I was still disappointed.
←Rate | 04-05-2012 16:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to a paramedic.
←Rate | 04-05-2012 10:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with Facebook.
←Rate | 04-04-2012 13:41 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My sexual preference is you… daily!
←Rate | 04-03-2012 13:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left