Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Verizon called me complaining that my map was in their way.

   Friends are like Christmas lights. Some are broke, others just don't work for you....and there are others that make your day shine bright.

   Its Jesus' birthday yet..... we're the ones getting the gifts.....How about that.

   thank you for the thousands and thousands of reminders letting me know what today is. Good job Thanks!! Keep me posted!

   sorry 2009 but I'm going to have to file a restraining order on you. You're going to have to stay at least 365 days away from me. You caused to many problems.

   Idea for a Christmas Party: Have two guys dress as Jesus and Santa Claus. One brings wine the other brings Eggnog with vodka. Santa brings his 12 reindeer playboy bunnies. All at your mother-in-law's house. ONE BIG JINGLE FOR THE YEAR.

   FACEBOOK + CHRISTMAS = Endless status updates reminding you what month it is. Not to mention pages and pages of people's Xmas pics.

   Why would a girl wanna be a Barbie? Barbie's are fake and dumb, yes DUMB. I'll take a natural woman any day thank you.

   Everybody would agree that 2009 has been a hard year for all of us.

   maybe Tiger Woods' relationship status should say "it's really complicated"

   I love a Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

   why do people on Facebook make a effort out of telling everybody in a huge paragraph how bad & boring their day was to make people feel sympathetic...Get over it, everybody has their bad days but maybe it would be better if you kept it to yourself.

   Here's a question: You ever wonder how many REAL friends you had before the whole Facebook, Myspace, & Twitter thing came into existence?.......You're wondering now.

   there sure is going to be a lot of people losing their virginity in the year 2012.

   what's the difference between 'Live Feed' and 'News Feed?' Isn't all the news supposed to be Live!!!

   This status update is brought to you by your drug addiction to facebook.

   really thinks Myspace is a female...So many mood swings and changes.

   's dad asked him for a balloon ride, but he said "No, I don't wanna be a hoax"

   why is it that whenever there's two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?

   if I had to comment your status with "What happened?" and you reply "I don't even want to talk about it...", do you think maybe you should have kept it to yourself?