Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1808 of 6386
Malaysian Airlines - Worse with planes than Casey Anthony is with children!
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07-22-2014 12:56
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I cracked two jokes earlier about Malaysian Airways. The first got no response and the second crashed and burned.
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07-22-2014 12:52
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People on the plane, rained mainly on Ukraine
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07-22-2014 12:52
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What do you call Converse on a nun? Nunchucks.
can someone tell Andrew Jackson we read Snarkecards also
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07-22-2014 11:00 by duh
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If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.
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07-22-2014 09:01 by Yaj
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Prince's greatest hits now under twenty quid, so tonight I'm going to party like it's £19.99.
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07-22-2014 07:21
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Some people shouldn't talk unless they can improve on the silence.
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07-22-2014 06:53
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Possible post if Facebook was around in 1968) Busy day today. Me and my cousin rode are bikes all over town. Later we went fishing and after that played some basketball , don't text us we don't have a cell phone............
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07-22-2014 06:02
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I make guys nervous when I go braless... Because at that point... They see I have bigger balls than they do!
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07-21-2014 23:48
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Ladies... When they say it's all downhill after 40... Just know.... They're talking about gravity!
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07-21-2014 23:47 by Dani
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If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
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07-21-2014 23:04 by JAB
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Just when I got the best place to hide a body, I forgot who I lent my shovel. . .
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07-21-2014 22:11 by JAB
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If silly putty would have applied itself,,, it could have been serious putty.
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07-21-2014 21:12 by snotty
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I don't know that Hamas and ceasefire should be used in the same sentence...
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07-21-2014 20:02 by J4P
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President Obama called for the immediate cessation of hostilities in Gaza today. He went on to warn that if there isn't a peace treaty signed by both sides on his desk by the end of the week, that he has a phone and a pen. "My Will Be Done" -- B. Hussein
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07-21-2014 15:52
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Next time you hear a stranger give out their number text them details of what they're wearing. It's so much fun to watch them freak out
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07-21-2014 14:46 by flinnie
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There's no more dangerous entity on earth than a woman with a lot on her mind and nothing to do but think.
When India travel, the short ball is always expected to be a factor. Not when they bowl, though. Not until today. #engvind#cricket
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07-21-2014 13:17
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How can anyone think 295 people dying is funny?
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07-21-2014 11:38
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