santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Halloween is over time to put up the Christmas decorations.

   I know it's early..but I often forget things, so I've just written my letter to Santa, warning him not to drink the milk at Bill Cosby's place!!

   Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.

   It's October...Which means it's time for people to put up the Christmas decorations they took down in July.

   Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall.

   Well Easter is almost over, just saw Walmart employees putting up Christmas Decorations......

   All of these special little "holidays..." I heard they were gonna have a national "I Don't Give A Sh*t" day... But no one gave a sh*t so it never happened.

   I'm finally opening my Christmas gifts. I have to hand it to my family, when you talk about recycling, they define the term. The boxes are old. I mean boxes with Christmas Seals on them from 1957 and held t

   Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.

   Life was a lot easier when I believed in Santa Claus. . .

   Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only.

   If you got a big screen TV for Christmas be sure to put the empty box with your neighbor's trash. That way, their house will get robbed and not yours.

   One of my biggest fears is I'll marry into a family that runs 5Ks on holidays

   Can someone tell me when Santa is coming? He forgot some of the stuff I asked for

   I gave Santa Chocolate Laxative chip cookies...

   I wish I loved anything as much as Santa loves rich kids.

   So over Christmas porn, there is only so much elf sex one can watch

   Shout Out to the Kids in the Projects that left some Milk & Cookies out for Santa but the Roaches got 2 it first.

   Christmas; Another day of choreographed kindness and fake concern.

   I wish I was Santa...he knows where the naught women live