lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't know who example555@hotmail.com is but I wish he would stop using my MSN Messenger.
←Rate | 05-02-2010 05:12 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Z is the last letter in the alphabet because it overslept.
←Rate | 05-01-2010 05:23 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon An Eskimo in the North Pole was arrested on suspicion of murder. Police want to know what he was doing on the night between September and March.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 20:00 by Lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon 73% of men don't know what a cookie is. But 99% know how to delete them.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 14:15 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so exhausted from my French self-defense course. I've never had to run so far in all my life!
←Rate | 04-30-2010 07:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Man Falls Off Bridge While Urinating" Authorities are still trying to figure out what pissed him off.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 15:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I met this girl who was so ugly that Facebook banned her profile pic and sent her back to Myspace.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 15:11 by lemonpillow Comments (3)  


   messageicon Telling my nephew that leprechauns store their gold in electrical sockets and that he'd need a fork to get it out probably wasn't a good idea.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 07:55 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did the chicken cross the roa... *thump*thump* Nevermind.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 02:20 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Greeting cards are for people who mean every word someone else said.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 02:19 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon not a PC and your commercials are getting on my nerves.
←Rate | 04-27-2010 17:47 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked into my local newsagent and noticed he put a "NO READING IN THIS SHOP!" sign up. So I grabbed four bars of chocolate and said "Which one of these is a KitKat?"
←Rate | 04-27-2010 12:53 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time flies when you throw your alarm clock across the room.
←Rate | 04-27-2010 02:14 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a cheese grater for Stevie Wonder. He said it was the most violent book he's ever read.
←Rate | 04-26-2010 12:23 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did the blonde get on the I.Q. test? Nail varnish.
←Rate | 04-26-2010 12:13 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon What can a lawyer do that a duck can't? Stick it's bill up it's arse.
←Rate | 04-26-2010 12:09 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life without chocolate is like a beach without water.
←Rate | 04-26-2010 06:03 by Lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Alcohol was my dad's answer to everything. He didn't drink. He was just lousy at quizzes.
←Rate | 04-26-2010 01:29 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 18:19 by lemonpillow Comments (4)  


   messageicon Ad on the internet : The Braile superstore - Thousands of Braile products, many of which you've never seen before.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 08:28 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  




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