g0re Funny Status Messages

   Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.

   People ask me if I live my life on the edge. Well, let's just say I'm the kind of guy who eats apples without washing them first.

   It's annoying when girls take pictures in glasses and they're like "I'm a nerd". Like shut up you're not a nerd you're just a slut with glasses on.

   Awesome idea: On Halloween, order a pizza to get delivered to your house When the delivery guy gets there, pretend you think he's a trick or treater and comment on how he looks like a real delivery person. Give him candy.

   "Bromance" should be a relationship status on facebook.

   I dont hate you. I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.

   If Batman and Catwoman had a kid, it would become either a Batcat, or the less popular Manwoman.

   I'm not shy. I'm just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouh to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment$ directed at you will immediately spew from within me.

   Childbirth is nothing compared to walking through tall grass with sh!tty a$$ Pokémon.

   What does frozen beer, burnt pizza and a pregnant girl all have in common? A dumba$$ who forgot to take it out in time.

   One hour long text conversation = 5 minute face to face conversation.

   Breaking a mirror is 7 years of bad luck? Well breaking a condom is 18.

   Self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.

   Cell phones ruined the era of throwing people into pools.

   It's kind of fun to hang out with a younger person who thinks you're a lot cooler than you actually are.

   I hate that awkad moment when a dumb b!tch likes a Facebook page called "I Hate Dumb B!tches."

   Some people's facebook $tatuse$ are ridiculously overdramatic. "going to school feels like a knife through my heart!!!" it's like, .....shut up.

   There are some people on facebook who don't understand the difference between 'Whats on your mind?' And I should probably see a therapist about this'

   The Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.

   Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream.. but Leonardo Dicaprio had a dream inside a dream inside a dream.