SULLY Funny Status Messages

   OK........this is like the third Harold Camping rapture that I've been left behind and frankly it's starting to hurt my feelings : (

   No one told me another rapture was scheduled for today! WTF, I'm not prepared.......

   Gadaffi will take many secrets to his grave: dirt he had on Bush; dirt he had on Blair, but also how to spell his name correctly.....

   Its a pity Gadhafi died without revealing' where he bought all those cool sunglasses....smh

   Can someone let Zanesville, OH know they still have 1 wild animal on the loose!! I think they call him Barack Obama........

   Whoever decided to name this Halloween candy "fun" size is not someone I would care to party with. Just saying.......

   Excuse me. Anyone know when the Occupy Hooters rally starts?

   NBA cancels first two weeks of the season. I hope Kim and Khloe are gonna be ok........

   has been celebrating Columbus Day by walking into my neighbors homes and telling them that I live there now.........

   The worst part about the Hank Williams Jr remarks and backlash is that Toby Keith will most likely write a song about it now....

   FYI - If you find bit of the satellite, you have to call the police and someone from NASA (prob Bruce Willis) will come over to collect it, apparently!......

   Hey guy's, don't forget to clear your browser history every 5 minutes just in case that satellite hits you......

   Put on clean whitie tighties...Check. What other falling satellite preparations should I be making??.....

   I missed Obama's speech....Someone please tell me there will be a rebroadcast translation of Obama's speech into Pirate speak this afternoon??

   FBI announced the Scarlett Johansson photos are illegal. Holly Sh*t!! That makes me Public Enemy Number One.........

   Breaking news: Republican Bob Turner wins Weiner's old seat. Hmmm.. I hope they steam cleaned it for him??

   If Wesley Snipes had paid his taxes our country wouldn't be in this position.....

   I'm gonna go old school and drop my status updates in an envelope and start mailing them to all my friends daily to help bail out the Post Office...

   If anyone is truly disappointed by the lack of destruction done by Irene, I will gladly come by & break all your sh*t & leave a few bruises.......

   Watching hurricane reporter standing in the surf. The weirdness in me is waiting for a shark to get him. Sorry.......