Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Fergison Mo. BLACK FRIDAY GHETTO STYLE!!!!

   Where is Capt HUG A THUG when you need him aka Rev Al Not to sharpton

   I have a problem with huffing brake fluid but don't worry. I can stop any time.

   How many dinosaur remains must we dig up before we understand why they lived underground?

   I tried to bring sexy back but he was too far gone. I brought pizza back instead.

   Zero hits on the Monster.com post for Director of tourism-City of Ferguson.

   Her: "Now, I'm going to go to the bathroom and take off my 1 pound of makeup, high heels, push-up bra, colored contacts and 3/4 of my hair and then we're going to talk about YOU being more honest."

   if they don't curb these protests, foreign intervention Wil be needed...mostly by Libya, Iran or iraq

   glad to see that people all over are outraged over the death of Dillon Taylor, the unarmed white male killed by a black police officer. oh wait...

   I'm "flirting with strangers on the internet" years married.

   There is no biblical evidence that Jesus even knew how to parallel park. Letting him take the wheel seems a bit irresponsible.

   Mindset: Whatever happens happens

   You don't know me. You don't know my life. You don't know what milk to cereal ratio I prefer.

   Not today, people with initiative. Not today.

   Skiing is my favorite way of getting a head injury while freezing to death.

   I just deleted a text message without reading it so your voicemail doesn't have a prayer.

   Men that wear jean jacket's are making a statement... They're stating that they've lost hope of getting laid any time soon

   I think I may be getting harder to love.

   White privilege is being able to look at Ferguson and say "I should get off the Internet"

   "I understand your logic, but let's try to look at this more emotionally." - women