Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1664 of 6384
Herro? Time Warner????
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12-23-2014 10:11
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Someday scientists are going to discover the center of the universe and a lot of people will be disappointed to find out it isn't them.
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12-23-2014 08:08
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There will be no more need to worry about being on Santa's naughty list........Obama shut down the coal industry
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12-23-2014 06:24
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If you tell me about your problems and I say I will pray for you, it’s just my polite way of saying fcuk off, you’re on your own.
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact & hope it goes away
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12-23-2014 02:05
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Even North Korea has to wait on hold for hours to reach tech support in India
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12-22-2014 23:19 by Jman
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My wife said she wanted a clean, fresh start in the new year. Merry Christmas babe, here's your Hoover.
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12-22-2014 21:29
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my mature level IS , I still giggle when singing about nuts in christmas carols
Poor North Korea, now they have to call Comcast to get their internet fixed.
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12-22-2014 19:53
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Representatives from AOL say that no one from North Korea has dialed in to their service for almost 8 hours now...
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12-22-2014 19:10 by eengrms
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I think the people who own funeral homes should have digital clocks outside, counting down.
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12-22-2014 18:46 by snotty
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The longest distance between any two points,, is the walking path of a 2 year old.
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12-22-2014 18:31 by snotty
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North Korea's Internet is down. In even more shocking news, North Korea apparently has Internet.
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12-22-2014 16:21 by Daheavy1
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Recognizing Cuba, bastion of human oppression, is an insult to our noble allies in Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Yemen, Iraq, Pakistan and Texas.
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12-22-2014 13:37 by SEAN
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This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear..... I'm just fat.
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12-22-2014 13:36 by SEAN
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I think Tampax and Hershey's should get together and offer a super pack....
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12-22-2014 13:26 by SEAN
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I would pick up a hitchhiker wearing an "I Heart Murder" t-shirt before I'd pick up a call from a blocked number.
Figures... On the day I wear white underwear too…..........
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12-22-2014 13:05
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Someone is not a happy camper and should learn to appreciate how those guys are saving you the time to browse through twitter for the best jokes.
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12-22-2014 12:45
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I just learned that George de Mestral, the man who invented Velcro, died in 1990. RIP, George. RIP.
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12-22-2014 11:40
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