jitney Funny Status Messages

   I dont see what's the big deal about Bath Salt Water... I tried it and nothing happened, but I gotta tell ya..... Everything sure looks like CHICKEN!!!

   "I need a girl who I can spend the rest of my whole night with...."

   *Breathing hard* Today, I finally ran for 1 mile without stopping. STUPID ice cream man just kept driving even though I waved my money in the air...

   I guess I have to set my phone on OKC mode this weekend........No Rings!

   You ever typed slower than your mind thinks? Yeah that just happened to me...... It was funny in my head, but when I read it I was like...clearly to much beer!

   I don't have time to babysit ppl's feelings. Speak up. How I'm suppose to know what's wrong with you?

   I pour some Bacon Flavored Bath Salt water on a Roach to see what happens. Cuz Raid and Pest Control are getting expensive! I

   It's Siri's time off the month again....she's acting mad and wont answer anything

   If you have a craving for Pringles & Sardines at 3am in the morning..... you just smoked some bad weed, thats all!

   Q: What is the standard # of ppl you can have being blocked on FB? I wanna block all my ex(s)!

   Do "lol" goes before or after the sentence??? Everytime I read something funny, I quickly stop laughing out loud cuz I get frustrated

   You know when you rearrange "Mother -In-Law" in any language you still get "Women Hitler!"......Got a PuertoRican-Haitian Hitler to deal with

   Before facebook, I use to wait about a week for Walgreens to develop my pictures, to show my friends how good I lok in the Bathroom

   The Best solution against Zombies, is Weed......Light em Up!

   Are we running out of chickens to eat? Another student found eating brains and heart cops says!

   Florida's Zombie, Florida's Zimmerman, Florida's Laws, and Florida's Heat Team....sounds like Floridans are leading the chart in the Funny

   Today My NASDAQ of friend reports: A loss of 3 friends, thats down from last week. So I need funnier jokes ppl!

   You ever let one loose and it was too late? I just farted and didnt see the midget standing next to me.....

   This girl in class just pulled out an antique camera and asked me to take her a picture.....Anyone remembers how to use those 35mm diposable camera from Walgreens? I totally forgot.. Do I wind it up left or right b4 the picture?

   Guess whose filing for a divorce....Tom's wife from Myspace!