bego Funny Status Messages

   “Who is this I just got a new phone?” Really means I didn’t bother to store your number because you aren’t that important.

   Imagine this: you’re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers “Bless you” and hangs up.

   Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other stuff wrong with my car I’d turn the radio down.

   Bit%h If We Break Up... I'm Changing My Netflix Password ... You Ain't Bouta Be Cuddled Up With Anotha Guy On My $8 a Month

   Age is no guarantee of maturity.

   My girlfriend found lipstick in my pocket, I told her straight up I was cheating, there was no way I was going to confess I sell AVON..

   Make sure you love each other for your pleasant personalities coz when the looks are gone its what you will have to live with for the rest of your lives.

   Taking back your EX is like buying your shi$ back from your own garage sale..

   If you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with..I shouldn't be telling you this..

   Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government

   If your girlfriend doesn’t like that bi&ch, you don’t talk to that bi&ch.

   I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together.

   It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.

   That moment when you realize you can’t ignore someones message on Facebook anymore because it shows that you’ve read it.

   he original Nintendo is proof that better graphics doesn’t mean a better game.

   I am not sure if I need to get beat up, broke as hell and drive a P.O.S car to get a hot girlfriend. Because that's all I see, ugly is the new hot!

   My dad carries pictures of me and my brother where his money used to be.

   People dont even say grace before meals anymore . They just hold their phone over the plate, snap a picture, & then upload it to instagram .

   I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!

   Life is weird. You can go from being strangers. To being friends. To being more than friends. To being pratically strangers again.