Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Its funny how the Simpsons have been around for 21 years and they haven't aged a bit.

   Terrance & Phillip should've really done the "lighting of the torch" during the Winter Olympics back then.....too late now.

   Dear BP, ....Lower your gas prices a good amount and we'll call it even.

   There is always a double standard when strip clubs have 'All You Can Eat' buffets.

   I may be old a hell when Playstation 9 comes out around the year 2072, but I'll feel like a kid when I get my hands on it.

   In the lives of our grandchildren and great grandchildren, OUR iphone and ipad will be THEIR rotary phone and notepad.

   Dear Terrorist, I don't get why you kill people in the name of God. If God wanted to take someone's life, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be asking for your help.

   In these times, when a celebrity cheats on his wife with multiple women, he gets criticized and exploited everywhere. Back in the founding father days, a man cheats and his face ends up on the 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bill.

   You wanna reduce the "Text While Driving Epidemic?" Just create a phone that will input the text as you speak and read you the text you received.....They can bulid it. They have the technology. To make teens live longer and more responsible.

   It took a movie like Blindside and Jesse James' cheating ways for Sandra Bullock to decide to adopt a black baby.

   Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.

   One of the most dangerous weapons in our time.....Social Networking. And we're all trigger happy.

   Don't you wish you go back in time to your high school/college year and tell your younger self "Whatever you do, do NOT sleep with that girl"

   "If you're good at something, never do it for free" ~ The Joker (The Dark Knight)

   does anyone else always feel really bad playing that 'No Russian' mission on Modern Warfare 2, but at the same time loving it?

   why kiss....when you can tell her lips a secret.

   Dear Rain, thanks for washing away the yellow flower sperm that "skeeted" on everything.

   SO....we got Charlie Sheen, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Ben Roethlisberger, John Edwards, Chris Brown, John Mayer, and now Tiki Barber...Anybody else I missed?

   Funny how they wanna friends AFTER they stomped, crushed, torched, ripped, backstabbed and oh yeah....broke your heart.

   People want a RELATIONSHIP, but always find themselves in a RELATIONSH!T.......Which one are you in?