Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It's a Great Day for Male Lesbians! Let's go eat some tacos and celebrate!!

   Just enrolled in college to be divorce lawyer and become a millionaire since gay marriage is now legal

   Same sex marriage...because everyone deserves to be miserable.

   Sure, my glass is half full. But my beer is half empty

   Congrats USA. Always one step behind Canada and one step closer to being Canada...now give up your guns...it's your destiny. [/Palpatine]

   I'll never be the one to cast the first stone, but I'll sure as hell cast the second one.

   Sharks in the ocean? what's next, birds flying in the sky? when will the craziness end?

   The first rule of the Condescending Club is.... Oh, nevermind. You'd never understand even if I explained it to you..

   I don't care about gay marriage or the confederate flag. I care about Beer.... Is it 5 o'clock yet?

   If religions teach peace, how come they cannot achieve peace?

   Let's hear it for AIDS! Well played Supreme Court.

   So does this mean that Kanye can finally marry himself?

   To the guys mocking Religion and the Prophets. This is what the people of those times did. They did not believe despite inevitable proof and this is what you r doing and more like will continue to do. Even if you

   thanks to the awesome foreign policy you have created an endless wave of turmôil in Mid East. Thanks morica for playing divide and rule for cheap oîl

   Cat burglar: Quietly steals all your valuables Dog burglar: Eats your ham, sleeps in bed with you for awhile, wakes you up to go out at 3am..

   Can someone get the Supreme Court to send Mizzou back to the Big 12

   Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing.

   waving the rebel flag and burning the rainbow flag

   the United states just became worse

   My favourite childhood memory...not paying bills