Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon President's Day was in February you jack@$$...
←Rate | 06-30-2015 17:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Notice how the KFC and the Burger King in Ferguson suffered no damages in the riots. Brother has gotta eat....
←Rate | 06-30-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Obama just stepped out of the White House on this Presidents Day and seen his shadow. Looks like we're in for another year of bullshit....
←Rate | 06-30-2015 13:11 by Rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too bad the Kardashians drove off into a snow ditch and not off a cliff....
←Rate | 06-30-2015 13:11 by Rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally went grocery shopping hungry and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 6...
←Rate | 06-30-2015 13:11 by Bill C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now we have to see our suspected gay FB friends under a colored rainbow app...
←Rate | 06-30-2015 13:11 by Bill C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just had coffee so black that it looted the silverware from the table.
←Rate | 06-30-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a hooker, I'd definitely market myself as "roadside assistance".
←Rate | 06-30-2015 13:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kindly read the book which hasn't been adulterated by Human additions/versions. The Book which is timeless and has been perfected for all mankind (till da end). Apparently, Straight Pride is nw frowned upon. What a m3ntally r3tarded society we live in
←Rate | 06-30-2015 12:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I make her coffee every morning exactly the way she likes it because I love her... and because if I didn't she would stab me repeatedly.!
←Rate | 06-30-2015 12:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been on a million first dates in my life, but there is still no rejection like a toddler refusing to high five you back...
←Rate | 06-30-2015 12:22 by Timmy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me and her are having a poking battle on Facebook, so you can say things are getting pretty serious.
←Rate | 06-30-2015 12:19 by Rollen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why people stopped wearing swords everywhere is beyond me?
←Rate | 06-30-2015 12:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I carry around a jar with a cricket for uncomfortable silences.
←Rate | 06-30-2015 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the worst jobs in the world has to be a fruit stand vendor in an action movie..
←Rate | 06-30-2015 11:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're only young once but you can be immature forever!
←Rate | 06-30-2015 11:23 by Depirts Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow is Canada Day, maybe we should all go out for some good Canadian Cuisine to celebrate
←Rate | 06-30-2015 08:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Based on the amount of money in my retirement account I have no objection to them raising the retirement age to 247.
←Rate | 06-30-2015 08:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon over weight & a drug problem? New hitting the streets diet coke
←Rate | 06-30-2015 00:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know about yours but my news feed is starting to look like there's a big game coming up between the south and the skittles factory.
←Rate | 06-29-2015 23:12 Comments (0)  




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