Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you are Canadian and have used Maple Syrup as lube, can I get some pancakes with that?

   Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?

   So only 9 people in supreme courts sit around and decide what's legal and what's not for the rest of over 500 million Americans? Yes I see how your democracy is very fair.

   How would there be a lot of confused babies whose dad's screwed each other? Did the Supreme Court overturn nature and allowed same-sex conception too?

   If gay couple want to get married and be just as miserable as straight couples, let'em.

   Sòdømy is not marriage. Pórnögraphy is not art. Desires are not rights. At this point I feel ignorance shouls b bliss. In a few years expect a lot of traumatized babies whose dad's screw each other..gross

   It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...

   I've been to WI, I think that farmers only .com is being very generous with how many hit farmers daughters there are

   In hindsight,, maybe I shouldn't have kept looking back . . .

   Breaking news: Police managed to floor Matt with no Sweat...

   Why does it look like some of my friends took their profile pic with an old Polaroid Camera?

   Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.

   It's a Great Day for Male Lesbians! Let's go eat some tacos and celebrate!!

   Just enrolled in college to be divorce lawyer and become a millionaire since gay marriage is now legal

   Same sex marriage...because everyone deserves to be miserable.

   Sure, my glass is half full. But my beer is half empty

   Congrats USA. Always one step behind Canada and one step closer to being Canada...now give up your guns...it's your destiny. [/Palpatine]

   I'll never be the one to cast the first stone, but I'll sure as hell cast the second one.

   Sharks in the ocean? what's next, birds flying in the sky? when will the craziness end?

   The first rule of the Condescending Club is.... Oh, nevermind. You'd never understand even if I explained it to you..