Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1486 of 6446

I bet it was like a bad nightmare when Lamar Odom woke up, not that he was in a hospital but that hes back in the Kardashian family.....
←Rate |
10-23-2015 12:26 by Big D
Comments (0)

If you can't beat them let THEM join you, THEN beat them.
←Rate |
10-23-2015 11:44
Comments (0)

Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids...but now that I'm older I prefer mine in-a-bottle!
←Rate |
10-22-2015 23:49
Comments (0)

if you can`t beat them...get some duct tape,rope,and a tazor >:3
←Rate |
10-22-2015 23:47
Comments (0)

Why do people always make jokes insinuating that people who use crayons are crazy? I like my crayons! Especially the blue one. It makes my poo purple
←Rate |
10-22-2015 23:46
Comments (0)

The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required to work there, "must not pop bubbles"
←Rate |
10-22-2015 23:45
Comments (0)

After years of observation,multiple hypothesis,well-structured analysis and deeply reviewed interpretations.I finally came to ONE CONCLUSION: I'M NOT NORMAL
←Rate |
10-22-2015 23:44
Comments (0)

let my personalities out for a night...I woke up with two hookers, a penguin, a pineapple, five teeth missing, and a tattoo that read "I'M FREE".
←Rate |
10-22-2015 23:44
Comments (0)

look at this, it's a stick man rubbing his butt on the ground! ________&_________
←Rate |
10-22-2015 23:43
Comments (0)

Paul Ryan joins older siblings, Rex and Rob, in attempt to lead dozens of grown men determined to undermine him.
←Rate |
10-22-2015 22:14 by DS
Comments (0)

eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How fcuking ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone??
←Rate |
10-22-2015 21:57
Comments (0)

Congrats to Lamar Odom. The first guy to have cocaine and bookers actually save his marriage.
←Rate |
10-22-2015 19:50 by Jeff W
Comments (1)

as it turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist's finger before she stops believing that you're doing it accidentally.
←Rate |
10-22-2015 19:24
Comments (0)

The reason why you don't have a hoverboard is because Marty McFly and Doc Brown screwed up the timeline with their time traveling
←Rate |
10-22-2015 17:17
Comments (0)

Back to the future was yesterday people hello the 21st not the 22nd retards
←Rate |
10-22-2015 16:42
Comments (0)

..... I turned my Back on the Back to the Future Day today. Where's my Hoverboard dammit?
←Rate |
10-21-2015 22:29
Comments (0)

I expect to see a speeding ticket for a DeLorean going at least 89MPH today.
←Rate |
10-21-2015 16:01 by lkl627
Comments (0)

Fun Fact: It took 4 trips back in time before Marty McFly was able to resist having sex with his mother.
←Rate |
10-21-2015 15:08
Comments (0)

.... Just think ..... after this week ...... everything in "Back to the Future" will take place entirely in the past!
←Rate |
10-21-2015 14:33
Comments (0)

Welcome back Marty McFly...and Dr. Emmett Brown ...Great scott.!!!
←Rate |
10-21-2015 14:17
Comments (0)